a) An increase
b) A cut
c) no apples at
all
I know, that telegraphs
the punch line. First off you have to understand that a) is the
only completely wrong answer. Now liberal Congressrats and
teachers and of course the media mavens are hotly debating
whether the correct answer is b) or c).
One school in Louisiana
(that state being the only state with lower school achievement
than Arkansas) is firmly convinced the answer is c) and is
teaching that to the children. I hope no one is surprised by the
school achievement in that state given this being taught as true.
Where do they get such stupid teachers? Where I charged to hire
such stupid people I could guarantee results.
To his credit, and I am
certain in what was in burst of insight after a long struggle,
President Clinton realized that Mohammedette would at least have
some apples left so he said the correct answer was b). Of course
his is from the second worst educated state in the country so we
should give him as many plaudits as possible for getting that
close to the correct answer. It may encourage him to study hard
and learn and perhaps do better next time.
His fellow Democrats in
Congress do agree with him that b) is the correct answer. But
what excuse do they have? They come from states with better
educational standards than Arkansas. So what excuses their
obvious inability to grasp basic arithmetic. I will grant the
only educational group that gave them a majority in the last
election was the group that did not finish high school. But
still this is a fundamental concept not limited to arithmetic.
It is one of those very
fundamental concepts one uses to test the development of two and
three year olds, whether or not they can distinguish between less
and more. Children who are not able to grasp such concepts are
considered to some degree retarded. An adult that can not grasp
that distinction is either considered retarded or to have some
other mental problem.
Thus we find the
Democrats in Congress are either retarded or perhaps suffering
from some degenerative brain dysfunction or perhaps they have
suffered a serious head injury. It is quite surprising to find
so many of them with the identical problem all the in the same
place and in fact in the same party.
So I propose this. That
the Center for Disease Control immediately be assigned the job of
determining the cause. This could be some new contagious
disease. It could escape the limited circles of liberals and
into the healthy population at any moment. Liberals have been
known to consort and even mate, consider the Maitlan -- Carvell
marriage. If it is contagious Maitlan is certainly at great risk
not to mention the general population.
I can not adequately
express the seriousness of the danger of this disease. Drivers
with it will be speeding up believing they are slowing down.
Investors will be throwing themselves out of windows when they
make a fortune in the stock market. There are other consequences
too horrible to contemplate and certainly not suitable for
publication where children might read.
We are all at risk of
losing our ability at basic reasoning as have so many liberals.
Should this be contagious we are all lost. I can not imagine
these people were all born retarded. If so it is hard to
understand how they could have gotten to their positions in life.
And above all a cure must
be found. More is more and less is less. We can not have people
actually believing that more is less. As I have shown above it
is very dangerous to permit them loose in society. It is only a
matter of time before they hurt themselves and others. For their
own good we much restrain them.